Spokane to Saipan

Originally this blog was just to track our new adventures in Saipan. However, the day before we were to leave, Jan 24th, our wonderful son, Nathan, surprised us and died of a heart attack. Definitely, one of the most awful and heart renching tragedies that could happen to anyone.happened to us. Loss of one's child - our son. So the content of this blog has changed as has our entire life, our outlook, our feelings, our relationships to our wonderful families, our wonderful friends, and more. We are so lucky to have our other child, our daughter, our friend, our confidant - Danielle Ferguson. If she ever so desires, you may hear from her at times.

So, as our days go, so will this blog. You will see and read about some wonderful, beautiful and exciting places and things, but you may also read about some of our sad thoughts and how we are dealing with this great loss and adjustment to life.

Still in Spokane

The value of friends is little realized by all of us in our everyday lives. Cheri and I are lucky in having our loving and supportive families, and many wonderful, kind and loving friends who helped us through this ordeal; and to, our to our elation, we found that Nathan had the same! Thanks so much to Nathan's friends. We were so lucky that you kindly attended Nathan's memorial service and helped make it as wonderful as it could be. Your story telling was endearing and helped lift our hearts from the depths. The memorial service is something I never would have dreamed of having to attend nor saying something like it was wonderful, but it was - all of the kind, considerate, sorrowful voices and sobs that we heard that night helped us to endure this painful experience.

During our last days in Spokane we were homeless because we had already moved all of our household to storage, so we just again want to say thanks to all our friends that either put us up (and put up with us because we truly were basket cases that first week) or came and visited helping us to negotiate through the days.

Flying from Spokane to Saipan

To say it was hard to leave Spokane and to start on this trip is definitely an understatement. Were we nuts to leave? Should we have stayed? Why were we doing this? What will we do? How will we be able to work again, conduct normal day activities? But we followed our hearts and also the advice of our friends and families and decided to go ahead and go for it!

It wasn't always easy. Seeing boys Nathan's age playing with young infants on their laps, dealing with them on this long flight just bored into our chests. Nathan will never get to experience this. Our hearts were sore. But we talked and talked and we were also finally able to get some sleep on the flight which was a big help, so our moods began to improve. Nathan wouldn't have wanted us to feel this way. No, he just would have preferred us to have the usual fun we have but to be there with us! We began not just feeling or dwelling on our loss, but on those good times we had - all of those good times we experienced.

Oh, I forgot. One thing I saw on the plane reminded me of a good friend. Hope all is well back in spokane!

Our First Day in Saipan

We arrived at 1:35 am Friday, Saipan time, or 7:35 am Thursday, Spokane time. A time warp, just as we had experienced those first days after Nathan's death - we often had no idea of the date or time. But after that 17 hour jump into this new dimension, we do feel we are functioning better. Perhaps the lowest lows were lifting. As we stepped out of the plane into 78 degee weather and that tropical smell and sounds, I think we felt we had made the right decision.

We finally got settled into our hotel around 2:30am and got to sleep. But my internal clock woke me up at 7am! I had to get out into the outside world. I briefly woke Cheri, but she said she had to sleep. We do have different basic coping requirements which we have observed over our 30 years together. Cheri needs her sleep to recharge; I need to get back in touch with nature. So I put on my jogging clothes and took off for the beach. Unbelievable beauty! Solace on this tropical beach, and finally getting some physical exercise after having only intense mental exercise for almost 2 weeks. "Every step..." a song in my head as I jogged. Every step for Nathan on this jog. I had some of his energy as well as mine this morning. I jogged all the way to my new Wildlife office. On the way I met another jogger around 8 who told me she knew the people that I was going to work with, in fact played soccer with one of them and invited my wife to play on their women's soccer team. A small island. And, Kindness wherever you go! Encouraging.

On my run I heard and listened to the new birds. I actually got to see and/or hear at least 6 new birds - rufouse fantail, white tern, Micronesian honeyeater, collared kingfisher, Micronesian starling and common sandpiper! But I have to tell you about one in particular. It is when I first saw the Micronesian honeyeater. What a beautiful bird. So I stopped and started talking to it and pishing. Well to my delight it fluttered down just 4 feet in front of me and hovered. Nathan was here I felt, his spirit is all over. He loved animals and they often landed near him or on him at times- birds, butterflies and bats. He is still near. A nice experience.

When I got back Cheri was awake and we went out to get coffee. Well that habit looks like it will have to change. Hard to find coffee and we still haven't seen half and half in any store.

After our failed attempt, we went back to the hotel where Cheri went back to work! She set up shop at our little table in the hotel. And one of the technicians that will be working for me picked me up and helped me get my new Saipan Driver's License and Federal driving permit. His name is Paul and he is a local, born and raised here. He is half Chamarro and half Carolinian (more on this perhaps later, but you can look it up). This is a small island. When we first went to the motor vehicle department, we went in and he asked for his sister. Well she was gone, so we went to the front desk where he immiediately started talking in a language I didn't recognize. Well it was Carolinian. I asked him how he knew the guy at the desk could understand this language and he said, "Well, that is my cousin"!

After the "business" was done, Paul took us around and showed us the most beautiful spots of the northern half of the island. During this I was able to see the red-tailed tropic birds and the Mariana swiftlets.

Now we have had 2 dinners on Saipan - sushi the first night and Thai the second. Both were fantanstic.

By the way - ALL OF OUR SUSHI LOVING FANS, please take a look at the SPAM sushi picture. It's real!! They really sell it here.

Whew, what a day! Full, new and recharging, but exhausted we both fell in bed and hugged each other.